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4 Things Worth Sharing...
4 Things worth sharing: how to create a list for busy people in need of self-care, new ways to refocus and the best way to allow a conversation to flow and my reading list this week.
How can we talk about community and self-care (check out my last article) without sharing ideas, fresh facts and techniques “that work for us”?
Here are 4 things from my week, I find worthy of sharing:
To all that know me outside of the Substack world, know that I am always working, even during downtime, but I am changing that. Before, whether it was a five minute drive in the car as a passenger - a great time for me to answer emails - or an hour break in between meetings - another great time to catch up on bigger projects - I tried to get as much work done throughout the day to allow myself time in the evening for family, fun and unwinding. With that said, over the last few years, I have started to infuse work, family, fun and self-care all into one day and limiting my work hours to 5 hours a day - and not forcing those 5 hours to be consecutive. Here’s what works for me: I use my calendar for my self-care just like I use it for meetings and work. There are certain days of the week I have big gaps between meetings so I schedule in time to spend outdoors, take a long walk, visit a beach - I do this both in the summer and the winter - watch a movie, have lunch with no phones at the table and whatever else fills my self-care tank for that day. Some find this to be very “free-spirited” but its just a way to thoroughly enjoy my days while being productive. We live once so why not live how we want? How you can try this: Try this by retraining yourself on the purpose of your calendar. On any calendar, add your regular work schedule and important events. Then, find pockets of time within the day or in the evening and be sure to loosely schedule things that speak to your soul. Any calendar will do but the one on your phone has shown to be the most effective. The most important thing is to build self-care habits into your routine.
With some clients, the world is always on fire. There is a constant pulling in a million directions, drama surrounding how others perceive them and ultimately, a sense of frustration because they feel stuck. My job is to help them feel unstuck and I know how difficult it can be - especially coming from the mouth of your coach/consultant. But, once they hear me out, they realize that I often just vocalize exactly what they already knew they had to do. Helping yourself to understand and label what is important and what is not is a massive skill and one that I think is often overlooked. Here is how I help some clients come to this realization: The Einsenhower Matrix is one of the greatest tools created to becoming more self-aware. It also helps stop the whole “the world is on fire” mindset. Check out a great article from Asana - another tool I use daily - about what the Eisenhower Matrix is and how to use it to your advantage.
Talking about clients who think the world is on fire 24/7 leads me into the next topic surrounding a new technique I am learning about handling those tough conversations. I have always been taught to lead the conversation with my clients since it is my job to help them get to their conclusions and while that is true - in some ways - it is also difficult to lead a tough conversation because I then become accountable for their actions or lack of. Here is what I am learning this week: In conversations where someone is looking for advice or direction, take yourself out of the equation. Allow the conversation to be led by the person seeking advice - for me, those are my clients. Let them decide what the topic of conversation is going to be and don’t ask questions. Just lead them. I know that sounds counterproductive, but I am finding this technique to be more and more helpful as I begin to implement all that I am learning into daily conversations. Let them lead and guide them by asking them to “tell you more” and to “explain something in greater detail.” This also allows for reflection on your part which will lead to more self-realization on their part. Here is a quick breakdown from The Center of Development and Disability.
Inspiration and routine are one in the same for me. I can’t have inspiration if I do not build opportunities to feel inspired into my daily routine - inspiration is flaky and only shows up whenever it wants to and I can’t have it like that. I find ways to feel inspired in a few different ways but mostly through reading. From reading titles like “Manage Your Day-To-Day: Build Your Routine, Find Your Focus & Sharpen Your Creative Mind,” to “The Midnight Library” reading is a big source of finding clarity and often times, the reason my lightbulb goes off with so many different ideas. Outside of the two titles I just mentioned, here are two more I recently picked up and will be adding to my reading list for the next two weeks: (1) Professional Troublemaker: The Fear-Fighter Manual by Luvvie Ajayi Jones and (2) Triumph of the City: How Our Greatest Invention Makes Us Richer, Smarter, Greener, Healthier, and Happier.
I’d love to hear some things you have learned this week that is worthy of sharing!
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